SUMMER SIEGE

“All-inclusive chaos. Melting patience. And not enough sunscreen in the world.” Summer was supposed to be relaxing.

But then came the backyard uprisings, the theme park breakdowns, and the road trips that tested every ounce of your love and luggage capacity.From sarcastic survival strategist Parcavil T. Down comes a tactical, laugh-out-loud guide to navigating the heatwave hellscape known as summer—whether you’re traveling with children, visiting extended family, escaping to a cabin, or just trying to find five minutes of peace under an inflatable flamingo.

Inside this brutally honest field manual, you’ll learn:

How to construct a backyard bunker using bungee cords and snack caches

What to pack for summer camp (including emotional support granola bars)

How to maintain sanity during airport delays, cruise buffets, and cross-cultural toddler meltdowns

Why “all-inclusive” resorts are never truly “all-inclusive”

And what to do when someone brings glitter into your vacation cabin

2ND COLUMN

Equal parts practical, relatable, and hilariously unhinged, SUMMER SIEGE arms you with the tools to survive July without losing your sunscreen, your snack stash, or your sanity.

Perfect for:

Overheated parents

Tactical-minded singles

Couples attempting peaceful cohabitation on beach chairs

Anyone who has ever been betrayed by a family group text

Prepare yourself.

The sun is high, the popsicles are melting, and the kids are already bored. This is not a vacation.

This is war.

Part of: PARCIVAL'S SURVIVAL GUIDES (5 books)