grab your midlife hormones by the ladyballs

You have 3 opportunities to reclaim your body in menopause...

Make Menopause Your B*tch™ Elite

Make Menopause Your B*tch Elite is a comprehensive roadmap through perimenopause and menopause. Esther will personally coach you through private sessions with diagnostic testing that provides a crystal clear path to feeling your best while eliminating symptoms and struggle.

This program is for you if want to have…

  • A 60-minute Initial Consultation and a 30-minute follow up visit with Esther.

  • Bi-monthly 90-minute group coaching calls.

  • A comprehensive review of your past medical history

  • Comprehensive blood work recommendations

  • A DUTCH Test Complete to determine your hormone production and detox pathways

  • A GI Map stool analysis test to look estrogen detox and your microbiome

  • Customized supplement plans based on your test results and health goals

  • A nationwide directory of hormone-literate providers

  • Comprehensive education on HRT and whether it's a fit for you

  • Access to our patient portal chock-full of workout videos, recipes and research

  • An understanding of who you are as a whole person and a roadmap built around your unique needs

  • A community of badass women ready to empower and educate themselves to live their best midlives and beyond

make menopause your b*tch™

Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, executive, entrepreneur, or a little bit of everything in between—this 6-month program gives you the real tools to advocate for yourself, optimize your hormones and digestion, sleep, ditch the brain fog, and finally feel like you again.

This program is for you if want to…

  • Drop the meno-belly with a macro plan tailored to YOU.

  • Do a deep dive on the best blood tests to have done so you can advocate for yourself.

  • Soothe your gut, banish bloating, and poop like a champ.

  • Sleep like a queen and have the energy to crush your workouts.

  • Feel sexy and confident in your skin, minus those pesky hot flashes.

  • Tame the anxiety and meno-rage, and rediscover your calm, radiant self.

  • Get crystal-clear on HRT—whether it’s your vibe and how to talk to your provider.

  • Rev up your libido, tackle dryness, and keep your pelvic floor thriving.

  • Heal old wounds, let go of baggage, and step into your power.

  • Become the best version of yourself alongside other badass women

Macro Reset Program

I’ve got good news: there is a way out of this hormone havoc...

You don’t have to accept exhaustion, mood swings, stubborn weight, or sleepless nights as your “new normal.”

This program is for you if want to…

  • Know how much protein, fat, carbs and fiber you need to get lean and strong

  • Have the structure and accountability that comes with logging your food

  • Reset your hormones, digestion and sleep 

  • Lose the belly bloat and body fat–and keep it off

  • Have a permanent solution through midlife and beyond

  • Understand results are a long-term investment and thrive with accountability

  • Become the best version of yourself alongside other badass women

Welcome to the gaslight-free zone

  • Expert guidance and education with someone who’s walked through menopausal fire and made it to the other side 

  • Three decades of experience working with women in hormone hell and suffering with chronic health conditions

  • Fine-tuned supplement protocols that work and have changed the lives of thousands of women 

  • Laser-focused attention, compassion and love where you’ll feel fully supported, seen and heard

Hi, I'm Esther.

I’m an integrative dietitian, author, podcaster, hormone whisperer, mom, and medical system disruptor. I’ve helped thousands of women heal everything from insomnia to hormone hell through real education and protocols that work.

I'm invested in seeing you live your best in midlife and beyond.

My mission? Stop the suffering, silence, and gaslighting—and help women become experts in their own care.

So if your OB told you to have more sex and drink wine... I've got a better plan!

XO

Let’s get real for a minute. When was the last time you remember feeling sexy (let alone where you left your glasses)? Is dry January the tagline for your vagina? Are you sick of the sleepless nights, the hot flashes, and feeling like the dead lady in the bathtub in The Shining?

I’m Esther Blum–functional medicine dietitian, hormone whisperer, and fellow menopausal mama. I give women like you the tools to make menopause your b*tch™ so you can actually enjoy sex again, think straight, have the energy to crush your workouts, and just be a happier human.

I am here to serve you and truly look forward to working with you and supporting you through your Menomorphosis!