Self is a key part of both phrases but in no way are they interchangeable.  Self-care involves making a deliberate choice to care for our physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual well-being.  It is designed to improve our mood, focus, and productivity and reduce stress and anxiety.  Self-indulgence is the unrestrained indulgence of personal whims or desires without regard for the consequences or the impact on another.

Choosing Self Care  

What kinds of choices promote self-care?  Think about choices that enhance a sense of balance and well-being.  Adequate sleep is imperative if we want to function at an optimal level.  We may still function well if we are occasionally sleep deprived, but consistent sleep deprivation will show up and negatively impact every area of our lives. 

You know how important healthy food choices and regular exercise are to our well-being. 

Have you considered that feeding your mind and your spirit healthy ideas is as important to your well-being as feeding your body healthy food is?  Do you invest time in nurturing personal relationships that take you outside yourself? Great relationships help to rejuvenate us and provide an opportunity to relax and laugh.  This is an essential part of life balance and self-care.

Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of self-care is our relationship with ourselves.  This comes from knowing what matters to us and spending the time necessary to understand it and make sure it is a central focus of our lives.  We call that living with integrity.  It comes from making choices that are harmonious with our values.

Choosing Self-Indulgence

Occasional self-indulgence is not necessarily bad but, allowing it to become a habit is destructive to our self-esteem and our relationships with other people.  It is the difference between occasionally indulging in your favorite piece of chocolate and relishing the taste and the texture of it, as opposed to becoming a confirmed chocoholic where you reach for chocolate because you are stressed, bored, or physically addicted. 

Any addiction, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sugar, shopping, gambling, sex, or even exercise represents self-indulgence.  The natural response is to say I get some of those, but others simply don’t make any sense.  How could something as important and healthy as exercise be self-indulgent?  When we become consumed with something positive, like exercise, and it squeezes out other significant areas of life, it moves from being self-care to being self-indulgent.  If spending several hours a day in the gym, takes time and focus away from family and professional obligations then consider if it has moved from self-care to self-indulgence.

The vulnerability of self-indulgence is our ability to rationalize and create a sense of self-delusion.  Things like “I need a drink because today has been so stressful at work”.  “I deserve that expensive handbag because I work hard and deserve something to show for it.”  “I’m feeling lucky tonight.  When I win the pot, I will use it to take my family on the vacation they deserve.”  In each of these instances we have rationalized what we want without concern for others or the consequences.  Alcohol may impact our ability to interact with family and friends in a manner we would like to think we always do.  Shopping and gambling can certainly affect our ability to meet our financial obligations.

The choice is the Ultimate Freedom

Choose to turn your back on self-indulgence and embrace self-care.  Self-care enables you to become your best self.  You deserve that.  Those you love and who love you deserve that.  The joy and satisfaction that comes from these choices are so much greater than the temporary buzz that comes from self-indulgence.  Choose wisely.  Choose self-care.