The power to choose is one of the great freedoms we enjoy.  We have the power to choose who we are.  We have the power to choose what we do.  Sometimes they are intertwined.

The Power to Choose Who We Are

This relates to attributes of character.  Perhaps as a child, you were taught to be kind.  If your spouse, your boss, or someone else you interact with regularly never learned this as a child it may make for uncomfortable interaction.  You may view them as rude or uncaring when that is not necessarily their intention.  They may view you as lacking in strength and even wishy-washy.

I was raised to say please and thank you.  As a young woman fresh out of college and in my first supervisory position I would ask my employees to “Please do …….. “ It didn’t take long for me to realize that they thought they had a choice.  We had to have a heart-to-heart and nose-to-nose discussion to make them understand that when I said “Please do….” It wasn’t optional.  I was being courteous and respectful and I believed that was the appropriate way to treat supervisors, subordinates, customers, vendors, and who ever we encounter.

This is about attributes of character.  If we have an attribute, we don’t like we have the freedom to change it.  If we are missing one, which we want, we can cultivate it.

The Power to Choose What We Do

This is about the outward manifestation that others see.  While I may be kind there are undoubtedly circumstances that may demand sternness and firmness.   If I am angry, I may find myself being downright rude and condescending. 

Another choice might include working hard to learn a new skill or kicking back and playing solitaire on the computer.  I might choose to get up and go to church on Sunday morning or roll over in bed and just get up in time to watch a football game. 

We have the power to choose.

So How Do Our Choices Reflect Our Values in Action?

If you believe in kindness and find yourself being rude and judgmental – you have a choice.  You can learn to be kinder and less judgmental through awareness and constant practice, or you can choose to remain in your comfort zone.  If you choose to change then you are seeking to harmonize who you say you are with whom you act as though you are. 

If I say changing my life is important to me, and I invest my time and energy in learning a relevant new skill, then my actions are consistent with my stated values.  If however, I persist in talking or thinking about changing my life, and I choose to spend free time playing video games instead, then I’m being pretty hypocritical. 

Our true values are how we live, not what we say.  When there is a disconnect it impacts our self-respect.  Others may not see the disconnect but we know it is there.  When they are in harmony, we feel peaceful.  We are living with integrity. 

Choose to live a life where your actions shine a bright light on your highest and best self because you are living in harmony with your beliefs.