Anyone who knows me knows I’m a massive Arsenal fan. My grandad was born just outside Highbury, and supporting Arsenal has been passed down through my family for generations.

I love football especially the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it. The highs and lows, the twists and turns of a season, hopes and dreams all wrapped into one. Football isn’t just a sport; it’s an emotional journey. It taps into our need for connection, identity, and shared experience, turning every goal, every defeat, and every moment of drama into something we don’t just watch we feel.

I once wrote a guest blog for an Arsenal fan site about what supporting this club has meant to me.

The last few seasons as an Arsenal fan have been some of the best not because we’ve won anything, but because you feel part of something. You can see where the club has come from, what it’s building, and why this season might finally be the one where it all comes together.

There’s still a long way to go, but whatever happens, I’m going to enjoy every minute of the ride.

When Everyone Says “Anxiety” But It Means Something Very Different to Me

This season Arsenal are in a title race, and I’ve noticed the word anxiety everywhere, from fans on social media to pundits in the studio. Maybe it’s because I’m more attuned to it now, but it feels like it’s everywhere.

This week I even read an article titled Anxiety on one of the Arsenal blogs I read daily.

Scrolling through social media, reading match previews, listening to podcasts, fans keep talking about how anxious they feel. The nerves. The tension. The emotional strain of caring so deeply about Arsenal and wanting them to win something that really matters.

And I get that it’s part of being a football fan. The emotional journey we all go on as fans.

But after everything I’ve been through over the last two years, that word has started to feel… misunderstood. Because the anxiety people talk about and the anxiety I’ve lived through are not the same thing.

I Want Arsenal to Win

I want Arsenal to win everything. I want them to win the league, the champions league the lot. I want them to win every game. I still feel that lift of excitement before kick-off when you are going to a game or the frustaration when the team doesn't take it's chances and loses, the buzz when celebrating a goal and when the team wins.

That hasn’t changed and doubt it ever will.

What has changed is what anxiety means to me now and how its percieved in society.

Because when you’ve lived with real, body-based anxiety, the kind that shows up in your chest, your breathing, your balance, your sleep,what people describe as Anxiety at the football or any event sits in a very different place.

Two Experiences Using the Same Word

When fans talk about anxiety in a title race, they’re usually describing something emotional and situational:

• Nervous anticipation

• Fear of disappointment

• The stress of uncertainty

• Hope mixed with tension

That anxiety has a trigger.
It has a focus.
And crucially, it has an end point.

The game finishes. The result is known. The emotion settles.

With that kind of Anxiety you do not feel all the sensations in your body, you are not hyper aware of every little detail that is going on in your body.

When Anxiety Isn’t About What You’re Thinking

My anxiety hasn’t been tied to a match, a table position, or a moment. It's a constant feeling in your body and mind that is there 24/7.

It’s come from my nervous system.

From waking up with a tight chest for no obvious reason.
From walking and feeling disconnected from my own body.
From breathing that feels shallow even on calm days.
From a constant background sense of being on edge, even when life is quiet.

No kick-off.
No final whistle.
No release.

It's a whole bodily experience that you can't shake off. Calling this the same thing as football nerves or nerves before a business meeting makes them sound similar.

They aren’t.

Why the Word “Anxiety” Becomes Misleading

This is where I think anxiety is often misunderstood especially by people on the outside who haven't lived with it.

If anxiety is described mainly as nerves before a big game or a stressful event, it’s easy to believe that anxiety is something you can just push through, distract yourself from, or think your way out of.

But nervous-system anxiety doesn’t respond to logic.

It doesn’t care about reassurance.
It doesn’t switch off when the situation ends.
It doesn’t need a reason to show up.

And when you’re living inside that experience, being told “it’s just anxiety” and to brush it off can feel incredibly invalidating because what you’re feeling doesn’t match the version of anxiety everyone else seems to be talking about.

Football Anxiety vs Anxiety and Panic Disorder

Football anxiety is just a feeling it comes and goes in the moment. It's not an excuciating pain in your body.

It’s intense because you care.
It hurts because it matters.
But it doesn’t take over your sense of safety in the world. It doesn't make you forget who you are and feel like you can't carry on.

The anxiety I’ve been recovering from isn't just a feeling when Saturday comes

It took over life. My body and mnid were hijacked.

That difference matters.

Why I’m Enjoying This Season More Than Ever

This season one that everyone seems to be a bag of nerves about I’m actually quite calm, and I’m enjoying it more than I have in years. I’m quietly confident.

Not because I care less.

Not because the stakes don’t matter.

But because my anxiety has forced perspective on me. Not long ago, I couldn’t sit and watch a game without thinking I was dying. I couldn’t concentrate on the match because my body felt like it was in physical pain. I’d be shaking so badly. And this wasn’t just during football it was happening in every part of my life. Football was something I loved, and it felt like it had been taken away from me. For a long time, I didn’t understand why. How could I be scared to do something I love?

It wasn’t what was happening on the pitch that was causing me to feel like this. It was my body stuck in fight-or-flight.

So now that I can watch football again and feel those normal anxious feelings you get when you want your team to win… it actually feels good.

When your body has been stuck in fight-or-flight just walking down the street, the emotional stress of a title race doesn’t disappear it shrinks. You still want it. You still feel it. But it doesn’t dominate you.

Football becomes something you experience, not something your nervous system treats as a threat.

And that’s been quietly powerful.

Same Word. Very Different Realities.

I’m not writing this to dismiss football fans or minimise their emotions.I’m writing it because the word anxiety is being asked to describe too many different experiences and in doing so, it often fails the people who are suffering the most.

One version of anxiety is part of being human and emotionally invested.

The other can make everyday life feel unfamiliar and unsafe. Until you’ve lived that difference, it’s easy to assume anxiety is just anxiety.

It isn’t.

And understanding that distinction was a turning point in my own recovery.