I wrote this poem in December of 2024. I was struggling really badly with Anxiety, Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder. At the time I was unable to leave the house having developed arophobia and was even struggling to leave my bedroom through fear of my body shaking. If I walked 5 metres I felt as though I was going to collapse.

My whole body would be shaking all day, I would have brain fog and dizziness the whole time. I was so scared. I could hardly speak or eat and didnt really understand what was going on with myself. I thought I was dying.

In those darkest moment found myself praying for a solution and to recover. I needed help but didn't know where to go, the Drs had told me I had anxiety and panic disrder but offered no help, I was stuck on an NHS waiting list for 11 months waiting for therapy and I was at a total loss as to what to do to heal. I thought I was the only person who had ever experinced this and it was completly foreign to me.

So I'd started writing on facebook telling my friends and family what was happening to me in the hope someone could help. I thought if I shared my experiences it would help me recover by finding a solution.

Having never written a poem before in my life, one night when I couldnt sleep through the fear I started to write and this poem came to me.

Each passing moment the doubt is there,

Driving your mind to despair,

The nights are long and filled with dread,

Feeling like you might wake up dead,

Your heart beats like a thousand drum

As your body goes weak and numb,

Searching night and day hoping today is the day

You’ll wake up feeling everything is okay,

The more you try and fight

The more the fear grips you tight

Searching for the calm In an endless storm

Hoping one day you’ll return to the norm

You try to be brave and strong

Whilst wondering where did it all go wrong

The pain is real, the mind is weak

Sometimes you can hardly speak

Your friends and family are aware

The ones who love you really care

You feel their pain and the burden they have to bear

Whilst you live this nightmare

Seeking solace in a meditation

Is the purest form of medication

It’s time to believe you can heal

And live a life full of zeal

Your greatest asset is your health

Without it you’ll have no wealth

So be grateful for what you have

Cherish what you love

What’s past is gone, let it remain,

The future unwritten, free of pain.

So live for today, with strength your vow

And rise once more a warrior king now